


Michael has a panic attack at the Halloween party

by Theatremania



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Boyf, F/M, Gen, Jeremy - Freeform, M/M, Meltdown, Michael - Freeform, Michael Mell freaks out at the Halloween party, Multi, Panic Attacks, Public freak out, riends, sad boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:35:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24028252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatremania/pseuds/Theatremania
Summary: Michaels in the bathroom all by himself and he starts having a panic attack. After he tries to leave he has contact with Rich, things don't go so well.
Relationships: Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Kudos: 14





	Michael has a panic attack at the Halloween party

I'm in the bathroom all alone. My hands are extremely sweaty, it’s only been five minutes but it feels longer. I tried helping him. I really did, but he just didn’t wanna hear it. I feel numb. My mind is racing and so are my thoughts but I'm processing this slowly. I don’t know what’s happening. Last week Mr. Reyes was talking about panic attacks and the symptoms. I'm having a lot of those symptoms he was talking about. I’ve never had one of these before. I’ve never really struggled with anxiety or depression because I always had Jeremy, but lately it’s only been me, and only me. So I've been a lot more anxious and upset, I mean like it's not easy having to go through the hallways alone while you see your best friend chilling with the popular kids meanwhile I'll be getting shoved by one. Or when you're eating alone and he's over sitting with like twenty of them and he looks back at you and just does this smile. This kind of smile where he looks like he wants to say something or walk towards me but he’s enjoying his new life way too much.  
I get up to leave the bathroom and I wipe my tears, so now there are just tear stains. As I walk down stairs I see Jeremy with Jake, Brook, Chloe, and a couple other people. He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me. I lock eyes with him and forget what I'm doing and I accidently run into Rich.

“ What the fuck is your problem, Freak!”

"oh shit, Rich I'm so sorry."

He shoves me against the wall and starts pushing me against the wall continuously. Everyone just circles around us and starts chanting.

“Rich please let go I'm sorry. It was an accident”

“You think I give a fuck if it was an accident?!” 

Jeremy's right next to me but he doesn’t say anything. I was really hoping he would. I really thought he would say something.  
The noise just becomes silent. I can't hear or feel anything.  
I freak out and I just start yelling “ I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry” I keep saying it more and more, the more I do the quieter I say it. Until I'm on the floor whimpering to myself very gently and quietly saying I'm sorry I- I'm so- sorry.  
Everyone looks at me with pity and glares. I run outside and I hear Jeremy yell “Michael wait” I wanted to wait. I really did. I wanted to run back and see him, but I knew I couldn't. I went in my car, blasted music on my headphones, and drive home as slowly as I can to kill time. My moms weren’t going to be home this week so I went to my room, which is the basement and I just did what I normally do when I'm sad or anxious or confused. I got stoned, I got very very stoned. 

20 minutes go by...…

I'm laying on my bed, higher than the clouds. I’m thinking non-stop. I start breaking down once I really process what just happened. I start yelling saying things I think about myself “ GOD YOUR SUCH A LOSER YOUR STUPID AND WORTHESS, FUCK YOU, YOU LONER!”  
I start throwing everything and breaking everything I see. Then out of nowhere I started punching the wall. Before I knew it both my fist were bleeding and my wall had a severe hole in it.  
I try to calm myself down and I start crying. I fix the hole with a frame with a crappy picture I drew. And my fist ,I bought some crappy wraps to cover it up for school the next day.  
It's lunch time. I'm sitting where me and Jeremy would always sit which is the very back bench of where the lunch room is. I see Jeremy and he doesn’t say anything again. So I got up, threw away my lunch in front of him and walked to my last period class early. Me, Jeremy, Rich, Chloe, Brook, Christine, and Jake all have the same last period class. 10 Minutes go by and I’m listening to my music and I see them all looking at me. We’re supposed to all be working on this stupid project but I wasn't up for it today. So I just put my head down, and I guess my leg was shaking because I heard Jake say “what’s up with headphones kids leg?” I hate it when they call me that. But I just ignore it.  
Last period finally ends, as I walk to the door I hear Jeremy whisper “Michael, come here.” I walk towards him and I thought I'd be mad but when he started talking to me it was like I let everything go. I just wanted to be his best friend again, or even just friend at this point.

“ Michael are you okay? I'm so sorry I was going to ask you last night but I didn't want Rich making it worse.” 

I don't say anything. I just jump into his arms and bear hug him as tight as I can. I don't ever want this to end.

“M- Michael what's this for?”

“I miss you, I just want you and me to be like we used to again.”

“ Okay we can do that, how about right now? Can I go to your house and we can play Apocalypse of the damn? 

“ Sure”

“You still got my bean bag right?”

“Of course i do”

I drive us to my house and I tell Jeremy I'm going to get us sodas in the fridge really quick. Jeremy walks in my room 

“Michael what the fuck happened?!” 

“ Oh shit sorry Jeremy I forgot about this.”

“ No don't be sorry…. What happened?”

“ Last night was just a lot for me.”

“ Oh shit what happened to your hand?” 

Shit I forgot I took the bandage off during lunch  
“ Like I said. Last night was a lot for me.” 

“ Ok, well wanna talk about it?”

“Not right now. Right now I just want to forget everything and play this game with you while drinking expired soda.”

“ Ok… but later were talking about it.”

“Ok Jeremy.”

**Author's Note:**

> I worked hard on this one. So I really hope you guys all like it. I try to make my writing as relatable as possible.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed  
> (;


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